‘Congratulations! Mr Fernando Your wife is Pregnant!’! The doctor grinned. Mark looked at his glowing wife, they were pregnant, and he was going to be a father. What do I do now, I am not ready for this, Mark thought.
Just then, Sarah, his wife took his hand and he knew they were going to get through the next nine months with love and understanding.
Family and friends were fussing around Sarah, Mark was told he had to look after her, make her comfortable, prepare for his child and make everything safe and better. No one saw the fear and insecurity he was experiencing.
Emotional Insecurities Of A Father-to-be
Inadequacy is the first emotion a pregnant father feels
- How do I make my wife comfortable?
- I can’t ease her burden of pregnancy and labour
- Can I support my family financially?
- Will I be a good father?
Prepare & Get Updated
- Read or surf the web for information. Find out about the physical and emotional changes your wife is going through
- Plenty of web sites are dedicated to educating fathers on the weekly progress and growth of baby. Surprise your wife by telling her how baby is developing or why she feels certain changes in her body
- Join Lamaze – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamaze_technique (Childbirth teaching class): Open to couples in the last trimester these classes advise husbands on what to expect at labour, how to console the wife, and how to react to sudden pains
First-Trimester: Emotional Wife, Chores & Worries
- Emotional and physical difficulties bring on mood swings. Nausea – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nausea, lack of appetite, hormonal imbalances and sudden physical changes make a very moody woman. Be supportive. Do not avoid her. Leave office early when possible. Surprise her with little caring gestures.
- Help with household chores. Start with the smallest of tasks. Show her you are supportive even if she snaps at you.
- Make sure your wife is rested and gets adequate nutrition. Ask doctor as many questions as needed, pregnancy – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy in Sri Lanka means many people offer advice on do’s and don’ts. However, make sure to follow only your doctor’s advice.
- Talk to your mother, an elder or close friend confide in them about your fears and doubts. Many fathers in Sri Lanka are great dads talk to some, they will advise you on what to expect as the nine months progress.
- Lifestyle Changes: Financial stability is a father’s biggest worry. Is your wife working? Will she stop after baby? Can you manage on a single income? Decide between the two of you, is help available, can, the wife continue to work, or are you ambitious enough to manage on a single income.
Modern day fathers are very supportive, we see many dads to be taking on responsibilities once referred to as a woman’s duty.
Second Trimester: Baby Clothes, Food Cravings & Romance
- A pregnant dad in the second-trimester – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy#Second_trimester is somewhat aware of his wife’s emotional changes and food cravings. Watch out a pregnant lady gets the most insane food cravings at the oddest time!
- He feels neglected; she is not too interested in romantic moments and seems to be putting on some weight.
- Be understanding. It is not permanent, and that weight is your child growing inside her. Support and love will be rewarded when your wife is not feeling emotionally drained.
- Make time in-the evenings, go for walks, and offer to massage her swollen feet, sit down and discuss baby names.
- Financially: decide on the hospital and insurance coverage, do not go beyond your means, but do not worry fathers in Sri Lanka are great supporters.
Third-Trimester – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy#Third_trimester: Almost A Dad!
- Wife represents your fat aunt. Nevertheless, see how beautiful she looks. Tell her so. Remember your wife is going through emotional and physical difficulties.
- Get ready baby is almost here. Decide on arranging time off from office to support your wife once baby comes.
- Have the emergency hospital bag close. Be alert, for sudden signs of labour.
- Get over the emotional stress of becoming a father by talking to your wife about your doubts, if you have been a supportive husband she will dispel your fears by pointing out your strengths.
The Ninth Month! Wait Is Almost Over
Get ready for false pains, sudden visits to the hospital, and a very paranoid wife. You are both ready and waiting, sometimes she may go into labour early or the due date may pass with no activity, this is when your doctor will decide on the next step.
Relax and look forward to the new life you both created. Enjoy the tumultuous pregnancy – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy months.